• What am I thinking?
• What am I feeling?
• What's happening in my body?
• What do I really want?
• Is what I am doing now working?
• What can I learn from this?
• What will I do next?

• understanding ourselves and our feelings
• identifying a process for rapid change
• empowering people to help themselves
• creating a sustainable blueprint to manage future challenges.

 

Because Choice Theory provides an accurate understanding of human behaviour, I use a variation of the car model in all my counselling. Cars 'R' Us provides a fun framework which can be used as a helpful metaphor in managing any problem.

 

However, for this approach to be successful, it must be used within the context of a positive relationship where there is no coercion. Dr Glasser emphasises the difference between the non-coercive, positive psychology of Choice Theory and the destructive psychology of external control.

 

Choice Theory states that while events over which we have no control happen to us, we always have choices as to how we deal with these events. In contrast, the psychology of external control states that our behaviour is caused by people or things outside us, and we have no choices, control or responsibility. We are victims. This belief is held by a large proportion of our population and is destructive to our mental health and relationships. It is manifested through the 'deadly habits' of criticism, punishing, blaming, threatening, nagging, complaining or bribing. We use these behaviours both on ourselves and with others in order an attempt to control them.

 

Dr Glasser says most of our misery is the result of trying to control others who resist our control, or being a target of someone who wishes to control us. When we pull back from the need to control others, we are able to use the 'connecting habits'; listening, encouraging, negotiating, respecting, trusting, accepting and supporting. Importantly, we are then able to focus on ourselves; what we want and need in order to be happy, without making this depend on what others do, and without hurting others in the process. As Dr Glasser says, 'I have noticed that unhappy people are evaluating others; happy people are evaluating themselves.'

 

In my experience, when clients are able to make a shift from a belief in external control to an awareness of choice, they are well on the way to effective long-term change. At this point, they have stopped focusing on the past or blaming others for their behaviour (over which they do not have control) and are ready to choose some more effective behaviours in the present (over which they do have control).

 

By emphasising that we choose our behaviours we can assist clients to move to a more empowering worldview. Dr Glasser links this worldview to being in control of our lives, being happy and enjoying mental health. In contrast, behaviour that reflects a focus on external control, either as a victim or persecutor, is likely to result in unhappiness and ultimately some form of mental ill health.

 

Cars 'R' Us reflects this optimistic, positive psychology. The focus is on:

• present behaviour that we can control
• present choices available to us
• practical problem-solving using Reality Therapy and strengths-based questions to encourage self-evaluation
• taking responsibility for our behaviour, not the behaviour of others
• avoiding blame, criticism and the deadly habits
• strengths-based action to achieve realistic goals
• tolerance and understanding of ourselves and others
• changing ourselves, not changing others.

 

Cars 'R' Us draws on a practical model that has been used successfully by Reality Therapists, both individually and corporately, for many years. It has helped many people change their lives and sustain this change over time. Equally, the kit can be used by anyone in a variety of simple and creative ways.

 

Perhaps the simplest starting point is to invite participants to select the car cards that best represent their current feeling states. You may then wish to take the conversation further by inviting participants to work through the questions in the Thinking Bubbles.

 

Like all therapeutic tools, the more we practise, the more skill we develop. I encourage you to develop and extend this kit for your own use. Before you actually use it with

someone else, try it on yourself in relation to an issue in your own life and experience how powerful this can be. It provides an excellent self-evaluation and planning process, as well as gently teaching the basics of good emotional health based on the maxim that we choose all that we do.

Designing the Model

Russell Deal

 

When Ford Prefect, an alien from a small planet somewhere near Betelgeuse, first arrived on earth (as recounted in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams 1952-2001), he tried to introduce himself to a moving car, thinking that cars were the dominant life form on earth. Ford Prefect can certainly be forgiven for getting it wrong, given the strong similarities between humans and their cars.

Of course, our cars are like us. We project our personalities onto them, we give them names, we dress them up, spruce them up, soup them up, and we learn to rely on them-too much sometimes.

Cars 'R' Us is built around the idea that our cars reflect our nature, complete with all our idiosyncrasies, foibles and predicaments. Cars 'R' Us contains a fleet of very human-looking cars demonstrating a range of emotions in very common, everyday situations. They can help us reflect on what it is to be human, to have good days and bad days, to make mistakes and to be successful, and above all to be actively making choices.

 

It might be anathema to Henry Ford (another Ford name!) but when it comes to buying a car these days we are confronted with seemingly limitless choices for us to work through - brands models, styles, two- or four-wheel drive, fuel type, colour, etc. To be human is to be bombarded with choice, so this embodiment of choice within the cars we buy and drive makes the cars-as-humans metaphor so apt.

 

However, what if cars themselves demonstrated choices? Perhaps this could provide an interesting window into human thinking, feeling and behaviour?

Cars provide a rich metaphor for what it is to be human-a fact noticed many years ago by William Glasser. A practising psychiatrist since 1961, Glasser developed Reality Therapy in 1965 as a method of counselling based on taking responsibility for our choices and gaining more effective control over our lives. Later Glasser developed Choice Theory to provide an underpinning psychological framework that describes human behaviour as internally motivated.

 

Early on Glasser used a car as a metaphor to make sense of human behaviour calling his car the 'total behaviour car'. Glasser's total behaviour car provided initial inspiration for Cars 'R' Us and the 16 'Know Your Vehicle' cards are based on Reality Therapy/Choice Theory concepts. Please see Ivan Honey's chapter called 'Understanding the Metaphor' for a discussion of the total behaviour car model.

 

While a number of practitioners and trainers in Reality Therapy/Choice Theory have helped shape Cars 'R' Us, the kit does not claim to comprehensively represent William Glasser's ideas or those of the Glasser Institute. Cars 'R' Us is a tool that Reality Therapists may use as well as those working from other cognitive and strengths-based frameworks. Equally, anyone can pick up this kit and use it without any prior training

but with the simple values of respect for people's confidentiality, dignity, unique strengths and their right to drive their own change processes.

 

We certainly hope that experienced Reality Therapy practitioners will find Cars 'R' Us useful and that it will also serve to introduce other practitioners to some of Glasser's ideas. For more information about Choice Theory and Reality Therapy we refer readers to the website of the Glasser Institute (www.wglasser.com).

 

Cars 'R' Us attempts to be both playful and soulful. Its colour and visual humour provide an enjoyable way into the serious intent of the cards; to open up possibilities for change, growth and transformation. We often use the term 'seriously optimistic' to describe the materials published by Innovative Resources and Cars 'R' Us is certainly no exception.

We also try to be non-sexist and non-ageist in what we publish and while this is also the case with Cars 'R' Us we believe this kit may have a particular appeal to boys-a group that can be somewhat difficult to publish for.

 

We certainly hope Cars 'R' Us works for young 'petrol heads' but we also hope it will open up sweet rides and happy motoring for people of all ages-but don't expect too much help in buying your next car!

The Roundabout Metaphor

 

Joan Hoogstad, an instructor trainer with the William Glasser Institute and a certified counsellor, uses the car metaphor extensively in schools and in her counselling practice. Many teachers also use the car as a teaching tool for problem-solving, social skills training and a way of enhancing emotional intelligence. Teachers and other facilitators may wish to build on the car metaphor by drawing their own version of a roundabout with radiating roads complete with stop signs, speed limits and other desired features.

 

Joan explains to children that we drive a car around all the time.

 

We have a preference for certain cars (behaviours) which become habitual for us.

 

We choose the cars we drive (our behaviours).

 

When we allow others to control us, we are giving them the key to our car. This can be in situations where we allow others to 'make' us angry, hurt, or upset. You can ask the child, 'Who is driving your car?', 'Who has the key to your car?', 'Is that what you want?' And 'What can you do to drive your own car again?'

 

Joan tells children that feelings are our friends because they tell us that our behaviour is either working well or not working so well.

 

There is nothing wrong with being in any car. However, the stop sign reminds us that, at times, we need to stop and consider whether driving this particular car will be the best way of managing the situation. These relate to cars (feelings) which are likely to reduce our quality of life or hurt others. Such feelings could include jealousy, powerlessness, sadness, fear, anger, depression, hate, manipulation or anxiety.

 

When we reach the stop sign, we need to stop and become aware of the feelings, consider where these feelings can/may take us, and if necessary, take a U turn back to the roundabout. When ready, we select a car that will work better for us. Joan emphasises that there is nothing wrong with any feeling, but that it is important to consider how well it is working for us.

 

When children say that another child told them to act a certain way (for example, entering a classroom at lunchtime which is not allowed; leaving the school grounds to collect a ball, the teacher's response could be: 'Do you mean that you need a back seat driver?', 'When someone tells you what to do, how can you remain in charge of your own car? Or with very young children, 'How can you remain the boss of your car?'

 

At playtime, she tells the children, 'There will be 300 cars in the yard. What might happen?' The children always say, 'There could be crashes.' The children in the class talk about what is required to be a skilful driver, which leads to discussion and practice of social skills (driving lessons!)-your year's curriculum.

The use of the behaviour car model is limited only by our imaginations!

 

Using the Roundabout

Joan Hoogstad

One of my young clients, an eleven year-old boy we will call Nicholas, came to see me because he could not manage his anger. I explained to him that anger is okay and that it is a message to yourself letting you know that something is not going the way you want it to go. The message is telling you to do something so that you feel better. Anger is not the problem. What people do with it leads to many difficulties. I said to him that everyone will drive their car on the angry road at times-children as well as adults-but at the first stop sign, a bit further down the road, we must stop the car, get out and ask ourselves if that is the best road to help us with the problem. If not, then we must return to the roundabout and choose the most helpful road.

 

Nicholas understood this very well and when he returned for his next appointment, he was very excited and couldn't wait to tell me what had happened. He explained that on the previous Sunday his family had planned a trip to the zoo. When his dad was about to drive away he realized that he didn't have his sunglasses and he gave Nicholas the key to enter the house again and bring them back. His dad said they were on his desk. He returned to the car and through the window he told his dad that the glasses were not there. His dad got angry, told Nicholas that he wasn't looking properly and sent him back inside. Nicholas checked again but there were no glasses. He then drove his car on the very angry road.

 

His first stop sign was the front door. He asked himself if the angry road was the most helpful one. The answer was 'no' and he returned to the roundabout and chose the 'calm' road. He went to his dad and in a calm voice he said, 'Perhaps I am not clever but the glasses are just not there. Can you please come and help me?' His dad muttered but he came. The glasses were not there. Together father and son looked everywhere and finally found them on top of the kitchen cupboard. For the first time the father put his arms around Nicholas and apologised for the way he had spoken to him. Nicholas and his dad locked up and began their trip to the zoo. They had a wonderful day.

 

 

Jennifer Lehmann, 'Reviews', Children Australia, vol. 32, no. 1 (2007) 43-44.

 

Wonderful You (2005) and Cars ‘R' Us (2006) are beautifully presented, colourful, full-gloss card sets that are instantly appealing. As has become the custom of Innovative Resources, both these tools include explanatory booklets containing background information and ideas for using the cards to promote positive outcomes when working with clients. The thought and preparation put into these productions is clearly evident and both are likely to attract the interest of children and young people who would quickly engage with the energy and vibrancy of the illustrations. I found both products visually attractive and imagine that parents, carers, teachers and human service professionals, in general, would do so too.

 

CARS ‘R' US

 

Cars ‘R' Us is a more complex and sophisticated product. While some quite straightforward applications are evident—for instance discussing the feelings associated with the choice of a ‘Fleet' card—this is actually an important therapeutic resource for professional interventions. Developed by Ivan Honey, and embedded in Glasser's Reality Therapy and Choice Theory, I found this set of cards thought-provoking. A single card was deceptively simple and yet initiated a stream of reflection as I considered elements of the illustration and the reasons I had chosen that particular one from the set.

 

There are several parts to Cars ‘R' Us. The explanatory booklet comes as an Owner's Manual and the complete Cars ‘R' Us Kit includes 52 ‘Fleet' Cards, 16 ‘Know Your Vehicle' Cards, 10 ‘Thinking Bubbles' and a ‘Journey Planner'. The ‘write-on—wipe off' idea for the ‘Journey Planner' is a particularly clever one and allows re-use and re-thinking. How many of us start out on a journey and then want to make a change of direction? How wonderful to be able to wipe away one's first attempt and start over!

 

The metaphor of the car for investigating and encouraging dialogue about the complex contributing factors to one's life and well being is consistent throughout the set and suggested applications. The parts of the car—brake, rear vision mirror, steering wheel etc—become metaphors for aspects of our lives; acting as a means for understanding our behaviour, the ways we see our lives unfolding, and the direction in which we are looking as we journey through life. But this tool never steps away for the principle that it is our life, our journey and our reality as we take charge, not of others, but of our own actions. Hence, there is also attention to choices and consequences.

 

One aspect I found particularly useful was the idea that the front wheels in the car metaphor are the ‘Thinking' and ‘Acting' elements of our behaviour, while the back wheels are the emotional ‘Feeling' and physical ‘Body' feelings that underpin our thinking and actions. This is an elegant way to break up the components of behaviour and identify where there might be changes that would lead to improved outcomes.

 

In many human service contexts there is a dearth of resource material for using with boys and men, so this resource is a welcome addition to the professional toolkit; though it certainly doesn't exclude girls and women because of its universality. However, I suspect it would be important for this tool to be studied in depth before applying it with clients. The multiple parts to this resource and the interweaving strands of dialogue elicited in using the tool suggest to me that familiarity with the components would be essential. It is also a resource that probably needs a fair bit of space to be spread out and is certainly ideal for when sitting alongside a client at a medium-sized table. This is so much better than sitting opposite or on pseudo-comfortable lounge chairs in an office setting. It enables a sense of travelling together and being able to make choices about oneself and the changes to which one aspires without feeling eye-balled.

 

I look forward to trialling both these tools in teaching of social work students in the coming year and to hearing their responses as trainee professionals and travellers through the complex issues of human service delivery.