Everyday Goddess

"Dear Katharina..."

An Interview with the Artist

Working and Playing with the Everyday Goddess

 

Katharina Rapp-Artist for Everyday Goddess

 

The best thing about painting?

It's an activity that puts you completely in charge and, while it lasts, you can make your own reality.

 

The worst thing about painting?

The mess and the sore back when you're on a good run. Or, when you're on a bad one, the blank canvas can be a frightening thing and induce the equivalent of writer's block.

 

The funniest thing about painting?

As your eyesight goes downhill with age, so does your ability to see go up.

 

Colour?

All colours are good in themselves, just as cooking ingredients are. The secret lies in the combination.

 

Being a woman?

Never having been a man I find this one hard to answer. I guess in the end both sexes yearn for the same things, like love and acceptance.

 

Facing difficulty?

Failure has never been an option.

 

What makes me laugh?

The silliest things. I am a child at heart.

 

What makes me cry?

When I see people behave like sheep, without thinking for themselves.

 

Australia ?

Australia has been good to me, and Australia has set me free. I have dared to do things here which I might not have attempted back in Europe . All that accumulated excellence over the centuries can be intimidating. Here in Australia one can give things a go, free of that vast burden of the past. And there is an irreverence in the national character which suits my style of painting.

 

What is your wish for these cards?

If these cards should have the power to wrinkle up the corners of the mouths of those who feel sad, if they could make them see the funny side of life, however painful, or even better, if they could make them laugh at themselves, then the world would be a better place for just that one moment.

Using the Everyday Goddess cards

 

 

Working and Playing with Everyday Goddess

 

Maya Angelou American poet,

writer and civil activist (b. 1928)

 

The vibrant images in this set of cards give women the opportunity to tell the stories they hold within them. What a relief! These stories may have taken place in the context of everyday lives and yet the characters that really inhabit our everyday experiences are mythic, heroic and royal. These are not out-of-reach characters in some far-off land, they are the goddesses who live within us; they come out to play every day in our kitchens and living rooms, back yards, dreams and relationships.

 

This set of cards is built on the conviction that each of us is so much more than meets the eye. American poet, Muriel Rukeyser (1913-1980) said, 'The world is made up of stories, not atoms'. The depth and breadth of our experiences, our qualities, our values and the marks that we carry from the experiences and stories we have lived may not be visible to those who pass us by in the street. And yet these are a vital part of who we are and how we live our lives.

 

Using the Cards

The Everyday Goddess cards can be used by one person alone, by groups of people or by people working together in pairs. The settings and combinations are up to you. For example, these pairings may be between a therapist and a client, two friends or two people from the same workshop or class. Of course, the same high standards of respect, permission, sensitivity to cultural circumstances, timing and confidentiality apply to using this set of cards, just as they do to the successful and respectful use of any tool.

 

There are no rules or instructions for using these cards. However, we would like to offer a range of suggestions to add to the creative and unique ways that you will undoubtedly develop. We hope that the ideas in this booklet will spark your imagination in all kinds of unexpected and delightful ways. Similarly, the painter of these images, Katharina Rapp, has created her version of each goddess. Your version of each one may be slightly (or radically) different. Let these cards be a prompt for your own imagining and dreaming about each goddess-what she wears, what objects she surrounds herself with, what she says and how she behaves. It is your story.

 

A Great Way to Begin

A great way to begin is to spread the cards out on a table and scan them all. The following questions may be useful for prompting reflection and possibly, discussion.

 

Select a card that shows a goddess you have experienced in the past few days. How do you do 'your version' of this goddess? Journal about her and then discuss her with your group.

• Which cards can you relate easily to?

• Why do you think this is?

• Which ones are foreign? Scary? Unfathomable?

• Do any seem dangerous to you? Is there a Goddess that you are afraid of becoming? Why?

• Discuss in pairs or with the whole group.

 

What Tickles You?

These cards are about the relationships we have with others and with the world, but primarily, they are about the relationship we have with ourselves. They are intended to help us to see our foibles and disappointments and struggles in a much greater context-and perhaps even, to smile at them. As Mark Twain said, 'The human race has one very effective weapon, and that is laughter'. Or as Victor Borge said, 'Laughter is the shortest distance between two people'. Hopefully, Everyday Goddess will assist us to bridge the distance between ourselves and our own opinion of ourselves.

 

Choose a card that says something about what you enjoy doing.

Spend some time writing or talking about why this makes you happy.

What do you like about it?

Are there any symbols or objects in the card that are meaningful to you?

Would you like to do more of this?

 

Choose a card that makes you laugh. Why does it tickle your funny bone?

Is there also a serious message for you here?

 

 

The Players on Our Stage

 

Perhaps the decisions we make about the meaning of our lives rest more firmly in our own grasp than we ever dreamed. William Shakespeare wrote, 'All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts.' ( As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII).

 

Within each of us there are many players on our 'stage'. Sometimes this can be very joyful. Sometimes it can be very confusing because our inner characters may seem to contradict each other. It is up to us to find out about the characters who tread the boards of our own stage play. These characters do live and play within us. Perhaps we ourselves have a 'drama queen', a 'glamour girl', a 'lionhearted one', an 'earth goddess' and a 'vamp' within us? Everyday Goddess is inviting us to bring our inner heroines out, perhaps simply to meet and celebrate them, and perhaps to see what they have to say to each other and to teach us.

 

Choose two cards.

 

• What might these two goddesses say to each other?

• What does each one value?

• Can they get along or will they disagree with each other?

• Write the conversation down or share it with your group.

• How do these two goddesses express themselves in your life?

• Are they in conflict?

• Are you more familiar with one than the other?

• Does one have the upper hand?

• If you wished, how might you be able to let both of them have time in your life?

 

Invite each person in your group to choose a card. The whole group (or pairs) could then have a conversation, with each person speaking in character.

 

Were you comfortable speaking as this goddess?

Did she feel familiar or unfamiliar?

Did you say something completely unexpected when you spoke as this goddess?

Were you lost for words?

 

Sticking Points and Difficulties

Everyday Goddess allows us to speak and reflect on the difficulties and challenges in our lives. Perhaps the challenges and painful experiences reflected in these cards are universal and perhaps some of them are uniquely female dilemmas. In whatever way you interpret them, there are opportunities here to acknowledge the sticking points and issues in our daily experiences and relationships.

 

Choose a card that expresses something about a difficulty you have faced or are facing.

Write about or discuss your experience of this.

 

• Have you been able to find your way through this experience?

• Do you think this experience might have something to teach you?

• Is there a card that might offer a clue for a way forward?

• Reflecting on a past or a present relationship, is there a card that characterises an issue you faced?

• Is there a card that might suggest something you can try/did try?

• Was it a successful strategy?

 

Struggles and Triumphs

Many therapies (and spiritual traditions, for that matter) point to the dynamic ways in which our identities are continuously unfolding. In a sense, we are in a continuous process of 'becoming'. This set of cards is based on the understanding that the more we give ourselves permission to play with our 'becoming' in safe ways, the more vibrant and interesting our own story becomes to ourselves. It is empowering to include ourselves consciously in our own process of becoming rather than casting ourselves as the helpless victims of our life story.

 

Everyday Goddess is a tool for celebrating the everyday miracle of 'becoming' as we perform our mundane tasks in the kitchen, the laundry and the supermarket.

 

We may be used to thinking that other people have glamorous lives. We may think of the heroes and heroines in Greek tragedies, or even in present-day Hollywood. These are the mythical lives of larger-than-life stars. Our own lives can seem very humdrum in comparison. In fact, at times our own lives seem to lose their sense of magic and adventure. Perhaps this is because we have defined adventure and magic in very literal and stereotyped ways? What about the great choices we are faced with each day about how to live and how to have the kinds of relationships we want?

 

Perhaps the great tragedies and fairy tales of literature are actually our stories after all?

 

Pick out some cards that represent triumphs and struggles to you. Discuss or write about them. For example:

• What about our own triumph over (or struggle with) the tyranny of the dishes as portrayed in the 'Dishlexia' card?

• What about our stoushes with the evening meal as portrayed in 'Here Comes the Soup'?

• What about our battles with (or triumphs over) fear as in 'When I Let Go of Fear'?

• What about our sense of abandonment, loneliness and disappointment in 'Waiting for Mr Right'?

• What about the call to renewal we hear from within as captured in 'The Call of the Wattles'?

• And what about the extraordinary everyday heroism of women all over the world as portrayed in 'Never Give Up'?

 

What strengths do you draw on to keep going forward each day?

Are you sometimes able to catch a glimpse of humour in the situations you face?

Write in your journal or discuss with a partner.

 

Challenging Our Labels

Many people are familiar with the corrosive and restricting impact of 'labels'-limiting and simplistic descriptions of ourselves or others. We may have received these labels from others during childhood or we may have taken them onboard for ourselves. Perhaps we think of ourselves as not being a good communicator, or not good at singing, or not glamorous, or intelligent or creative or tidy or witty or beautiful? It is when we label ourselves in terribly unimaginative, one-dimensional ways-'sad', 'conservative', 'irresponsible', etc-that we can lock ourselves into static and immutable definitions of who we are.

 

Even seemingly positive labels such a 'cheerful' or 'reliable' can be unhelpful if they box us in to rigid views of ourselves. When this happens change can become very difficult to imagine, let alone enact. Life feels set; frozen in place. Events and ways of feeling seem inevitable. This is when we can lose our sense of the breadth and depth of who we are. There is a feeling of possibilities closing down rather than opening up. Depression and loss of energy can easily arise out of this experience.

 

Choose a card that says something about a label you have given yourself.

• Does this card or another card suggest ways that you could see this differently?

• Does this card or other cards suggest ways you could tell yourself a different, more positive story about this?

• Place the cards face down. Choose a card at random. Write down some key words that you think are appropriate for this card.

• Can you see yourself experimenting in safe ways with being this goddess?

• What sort of actions might you do?

• Write in your journal about this.

 

Wistful Melancholy

There are certainly times when we need to seek professional help for prolonged and debilitating experiences of depression. However, there are times when we know that our sadness is not depression. Perhaps we can give our experience of mild and wistful sadness a new place of respect, by calling it 'melancholy' rather than 'depression'.

 

Did you know that 'Melancholia' is the name of an ancient Greek Goddess? The much-loved Australian actress, Jackie Weaver said in an interview,' Sometimes I am prone to bouts of unexplained melancholy'. In fact, many of us are prone to unexplained bouts of melancholy. Perhaps this could be re-storied as 'visits' by the Goddess Melancholia? Perhaps the experience of melancholy is not always a signal of something going 'wrong'. There may well be a genuine purpose to this experience. Perhaps it is a call to reassess our goals, or simply a call to quiet 'down time'; a call to a brief time of retreat and slowing down.

 

The experience of melancholy can be a signal of change and growth. Many people experience melancholy at times of transition and change, for example, just after farewells or when a child leaves home. Sometimes these bouts visit us when everyone, including ourselves, thinks we should be especially happy. This can happen at times of celebration like Christmas and childbirth and anniversaries. Others are prone to these bouts seasonally, such as in winter. Sometimes, we experience a prolonged visit from 'Melancholia' when we are experiencing huge shifts in our identity or we feel hurt, betrayed or undermined. How might we work with this is creative and unexpected ways?

 

• Are there times in your life when you are especially prone to bouts of melancholy?

• Can you see any pattern?

• Would it be useful to think of these times as visits by the Goddess Melancholia?

• Take your pen and write a conversation you might have with this goddess.

• What might she tell you about these times of melancholy?

• Is there a card that gives you a clue about how to navigate these times?

 

Our Dance with Others

Everyday Goddess is a tool to help us de-literalise our way of seeing ourselves and others. Collectively, these cards offer an intricate weave of flavours and personalities. They assist us to see our own story as part of a cultural whole, as expressing forces and archetypes beyond our own individuality and behaviour. With these cards we can place ourselves in a much greater context-this is not to abrogate responsibility but to experience ourselves not as isolated individuals who fail or succeed, but characters in a rich drama who act our certain roles at certain times. And sometimes the roles we take are in response to the roles that someone else takes-they are part of an intricate dance we have with the partners in our lives. For example, in the dance with our sister who is very tidy, you may be the Goddess Messy. But alongside your son, you are the Goddess of Clean and Shine!

 

Choose a card that says something to you about a key person in your life.

•  How does this person express this goddess?

 

Then choose a card that illustrates how you often respond.

•  Would you like to change your response?

 

If so, choose a card that expresses the goddess you would like to become in response.

Imagine that this goddess has granted your wish. Describe in detail your 'picture of the future' in which you are able to respond as you would like.

•  What happens in the scene?

•  What does the other person say?

•  What do you say?

•  How do you feel?

 

The Power of Attention and Creativity

 

Sometimes it is helpful not to jump to solutions. Sometimes, simply giving our attention to what we are feeling and experiencing can be very empowering. Really being with ourselves and taking the time to relish the flavours of what we are feeling-noticing all the roles we play and the inner characters who make up the person that we are-can be very healing.

 

As soon as we take the time to put our own imagination into play and see ourselves in a wider context we tap into our primal creativity. Many people experience creativity as deeply connected to wellbeing. Through our own imagination we become the story-teller, the playwright, the weaver of stories, the choreographer of the dance, or even the soapie writer. Suddenly, we have tapped our own creativity and our own life can become a work of art.

 

Sometimes, it is when we have lost touch with our own creativity that we become bored, burnt-out or depressed. Experiencing our own creativity is inherently energizing and life-affirming. When we paint, or write or garden or sew and we feel that flash of creativity. All play is inherently creative and as children, we are all naturally creative. Many of us, however, forget how to play. We lose the knack somehow. We forget the squishy pleasure we may have first felt while making mud pies in the back yard. We forget the stomach churning excitement of a blank piece of butcher's paper on an easel in our first classroom. We forget how exhilarating it is to put on a mask or a hat or wings and suddenly become Zorro or a witch or a fairy. Following Katharina's exuberant lead in these paintings we can remind ourselves to deliberately take off some roles and put others on, when it is healthy to do so.

 

Choose a card that excites you. Write down a few key words that come to mind.

Use these key words to create a story about what might happen if this Goddess came with full force into your life. Be as imaginative as you like. Go to extremes in your story, if you wish!

 

Create a collage from magazines, fabric, glitter, etc that captures the flavours, textures and colours of your story.

 

A Twist of Lemon

 

The Everyday Goddess cards are full of life and vitality and celebration. They also contain ironic, but not bitter, commentary. There is definitely a twist of lemon to some of them-sadness and disappointment, and social commentary about injustices and the nature of relationships. But the women in these cards are proud, strong and beautiful. And they are also funny. The humour and compassionate vision lift us to a place where we can smile at ourselves and relax a little, helping us to move out of guilt and contraction and possibly even bitterness. These cards may enable us to 'reframe' our life stories with much more good-naturedness and warm-heartedness.

 

Select a card that suggests a way in which you may have felt out-of-step and different. For example, the 'Marching to Her Own Drum' card. Describe a time you felt like this.

 

• Does this card also suggest another way of looking at this experience? For example, 'Marching to Her Own Drum' might suggest the joy and courage of simply being yourself.

• Reflect on and discuss how you might think differently about your experience.

• Write an imaginary letter to yourself as if you are now 100 years old and completely lucid and wise.

 

Goals and Dreams

 

Everyday Goddess can also be used as a tool for goal-setting. Sometimes we want to get down to the business of planning; we want to make our plans practical and concrete. And sometimes we simply want to make room for our imaginations to play and dream. Wild dreams, fantastical possibilities, exotic scenarios. These dreams are valuable in themselves but often, hidden within the wildest dream is a very achievable prompt for action.

 

A friend of mine has a great technique she once shared with me: when you feel that you want to make some impossibly grand gesture, the kind of gesture that you see in a pot boiler or a novel about others' exciting and glamorous lives, such as selling up everything (including the kitchen sink) and moving to Azkaban, try doing some mini version of that. It has to be something that honours that very same impulse. For example, rearranging the furniture might just satisfy that itch for a completely new scene. Going to the op-shop and buying a green felt hat or a chiffon scarf, or taking a belly dancing class might just do the trick as well.

 

Of course, this is not a substitute for necessary action and change. Sometimes, a truly grand gesture of courage and change is called for, especially if we are facing abuse or mistreatment, or we ourselves are engaging in these kinds of behaviours. But the small gesture can be a very skilful and heroic way of letting impulses flow and letting the characters inside us express and celebrate themselves safely.

Whether you are a man or a woman, maybe there is a character in this set of cards you would like to invite to visit more often? Perhaps you sense that presence wanting expression in your own life?