Inside Stories Out

I SET MYSELF FREE

Reflections on a writing course for women facilitated by Anne Flint and Deborah McCulloch

 

I am a family support worker with Anglicare South Australia working in the southern suburbs of Adelaide. Russell Deal from St Luke's Innovative Resources was invited to facilitate our team's annual two-day training workshop in March this year. The focus for this workshop was on journalling and other creative tools for engaging with, and supporting, the families we work with.

 

I was totally inspired by Russell and the resources he used in the workshop, and was highly motivated to create and facilitate a writing course. My aim was to reach people who might enjoy personal reflection and self-expression via some form of creative writing, poetry, journalling, artwork, collage or scrapbooking. Past experience in our team had shown us that giving people an opportunity to reflect on, and explore, their experiences through writing and other creative means might offer release of emotional pain, a chance of healing and a 'tipping point' to experiencing change in their lives. Being a devotee of St Luke's, I knew the resources that Russell introduced would be stimulating to work with.

 

In my role as a group facilitator for the team I approached a number of community health centres with a brief proposal. Southern Women's Community Health Centre at Noarlunga agreed that one of their mental health workers, Deborah McCulloch would co-facilitate this writing course. All of the women who came to the course had suffered, or were suffering, some form of trauma in their lives-particularly domestic violence and sexual assault. The writing offered these women a chance to express their feelings about this but also to find hopes, aspirations and positive visions for their lives and futures. St Luke's resources are excellent for building hope.

 

The course ran for a term, with a two and a half-hour session each week. The St Luke's resources I used were Strength Cards, Inside Out: a Journalling Kit, Angels with Attitude, Shadows, and Views from the Verandah together with a number of other resources (such as Photolanguage published by the Catholic Education Office) and writing techniques introduced to us by Russell. As well as this we provided lovely journal books for each participant, coloured pencils and biros, textas, watercolours, collage and decorating materials. Each week had a new theme, new resources and fresh ideas for writing.

 

The combination of all of these factors helped bring out the most amazing creativity and storywriting in these women. The women loved the course and the resources. They found the materials meaningful and easy to respond to. Comments like, 'This card leapt out at me' and, 'I just had to take this one' all indicated how poignant the St Luke's cards were.

 

Deborah and I were totally amazed at the volume and depth of writing that occurred each week. Many women continued to write during the week and were keen to share this writing with the group. As the weeks progressed the women found it easier to write, express themselves and share what they had written. Comments like, 'The group has been a safe environment where women have felt trusted and supported' and, 'People shared their stories but the group hasn't been intrusive' indicated that the group was well structured.

 

We allowed time for writing and then time for sharing, but discouraged idle chatter. Many women said they found this process healing. One woman said, 'I've been in the real depths of darkness, last night I wrote my story-12 pages-and now I feel healed'. Comments like, 'I learnt to explore myself to a greater depth', 'It has helped me on my way to happiness' and, 'This writing course has changed my life' all reveal the healing power of writing.

 

Two of the most valuable comments about the resources were, 'We have forgotten that we have strengths; this has helped us see them again' and, 'I learned that I am stronger and more positive than I thought'.

 

The course was so successful that we are running it again this term and next term in two other community centres. Wonderful things can happen with St Luke's resources!

 

Anne Flint, Family Support Worker, Anglicare SA

 

 

RENEWAL

 

One day late last year, Loren's social worker came into the Innovative Resources bookshop and left with a set of Inside Out journalling cards. Loren had spoken of her love of writing and her worker wanted to support this. Loren later told us that she experienced poetry and journal writing as therapeutic. 'It helps to get your own answers and gain a sense of acceptance,' she said.

 

Loren decided to use the Inside Out cards to prompt her to write about her recent experiences while coming out of psychosis. She simply selected the card on the top of the pile. It happened to be the 'Renewal' card. She used the illustration on the front of the card and the suggestions for journalling on the inside-and the following powerful piece of writing emerged.

 

'It stopped. Just as suddenly and insidiously as the psychosis had begun, it ended. The main bulk of it ceased on an icy day in July, although some residual symptoms harboured within my conscious thoughts. Luckily though, the confusing and all-consuming delusions that bombarded my mind on a daily basis finally diminished.

 

This was my third bout of the crippling psychosis that had come to characterise much of my adult life. I came to the final conclusion, after much wallowing and depression, that I must attempt to live my life effectively-like I had never done before. I had always felt like a suffering bystander. Rarely did I make any important and lasting decisions that would better my way of living. I had spent such a long period of time delving into my frenetic and deranged ideas, my deepest and inner-most secret emotions, that I had failed to progress in any useful or tangible way. I did not like what I had experienced in the dark, lonely nights and the fears that pervaded my being led to an over- powering feeling of paralysis.

 

But there was hope. The episode had ended once more and it was the time and place for me to re-fashion the fabric of my life into something that was hopefully creative and astonishingly beautiful.

 

I felt a sense of renewal and a glimmer of hope, like a flickering candle flame. To recover yet again was a daunting prospect, but a challenge that I must take up if I were to live any positive and fulfilling quality of life. It would mean picking up the shattered mirror of my momentary predicament and piecing it back together slowly and deliberately. Although the shards of this mirror may be scratched and splintered beyond seeming repair, I must try yet again.

 

The anxiety of beginning anew filled my body with a ball of matted dread that centred in my mind and the pit of my stomach. I found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything in the present time. All of my thoughts and energy were focused in the future where I dreamed I would be ecstatically happy and symptom-free. It left me neglecting the small steps and goals that would have been a better centralisation for my time, instead of wishing the hours away.

 

I would repeat day after day, 'I cannot go through this recovery process again!' Yet each day I attempted to greet the early morning with a faltering smile and a much-needed positive attitude that would wane at mid-morning and leave me falling exhausted into my comforting flannelette sheets each night. There were solitary moments, though, where excitement would fill me from head to foot with the promise of a new life. The adrenalin would pump through my physical form with the idea of a complete over-haul to my current existence, my old ethics concerning mental illness and my recent coping strategies could be cast aside and replaced by new and more effective ones to start afresh.

 

It takes enormous amounts of strength and resilience to pick yourself up and dust off the misery of mental illness that has followed you and beaten you down for so long. To see that strength and determination in others is an inspiring epiphany.

 

Each time that I am confronted with the need for a change of direction in my life, I am faced with an inner resistance that will only budge with time and continual persistence. But with this situation it was either do or die. I only had these two options. I could only put off the inevitable with the assistance of the numbing qualities of drugs and alcohol for so long before I hit the bottom of the proverbial barrel, making it even more difficult to rise from the mire and begin again. The pain of indulging in these mood and mind-altering substances was just too great, and I came to the conclusion that I used them as a form of escape and avoidance of my present reality.

 

I finally realised that I had as much right as anyone else to live my life enthusiastically and above all to be happy a good part of my days. In actual fact, I had become mentally ill at the age of nineteen. I realised that I was not an evil or disgusting person. It was a case of bad luck, and now, the commitment was to re-establishing my role in society as a healthy, happy, functioning human being with a sense of self-worth that would give my experiences a sense of meaning. I had to learn to sit quietly with myself, and deal with the inner demons that had plagued me for so long. I felt as if I had put my life on hold for eight years dealing with schizophrenia and the idea was to begin to progress in small steps toward a sense of achievement, which was something that I had never accomplished on a large scale.

 

Now that I have begun to concentrate on my life journey again, I feel a sense of trepidation coupled with anxiety, but also excitement. When the psychosis began for the third time, I lost my communication skills and the ability to concentrate. I'm attempting to discipline myself in basic daily activities and finding new pastimes that I enjoy. There is hope for the future and no matter what happens, I will never stop taking my medication again, due to the stigma attached to the mentally ill.'

 

Thank you, Loren, for sharing your courage and creativity with us all. And thank you also to Loren's worker for supporting the expression of this creativity.

 

The Masks of Grief

Bette Phillips is Family Support Services Coordinator for families and individuals bereaved by workplace fatalities. She also facilitates grief-related workshops, one of which focuses on the masks of grief.

Work-related Grief Support (WGS) has been providing support to bereaved individuals for about eight years now. Work-related grief includes any death where work has been a factor including traumatic incidents such as industrial accidents, suicides, stress-related heart attacks, farming accidents and asbestos-related deaths.

WGS is sponsored by, and works closely with, The Victorian Workcover Authority to ensure that each family or individual has broad and informative access to support and information. As Family Support Services Coordinator for families bereaved by workplace fatalities my work is often quite diverse. Much of the work is done in the home of the bereaved individual (or family).

 

It is important to me to ensure that each visit leaves the individual with the belief that their grief has been heard along with a feeling that they have some empowerment over their future. This also means that I need to be creative with each visit—difficult when the grief is often so raw and the words are stuck … deep down in the soul.

Grief journalling

I have found that many of the products from Innovative Resources are invaluable for working one-to-one with a client or for working with groups. Often at the first visit I encourage the client to begin a journal, to record the feelings and emotions they are experiencing. The Inside Out Journalling Kit really comes into its own here. Most clients say, 'I cannot write', or 'It's too hard to start to write'. So I will select a card from the kit that is particularly non-threatening and allows a choice. 

 

Paradoxically, one factor that seems to help begin a journal about our grief is to not actually start there. So I might choose the 'Strengths' card. We speak at this time about the person's strengths that have got them here today. This is often followed by the 'Myths' card and we speak of the myths that they discover in how grief 'should be'. The cards then follow according to the individual's journey. 'Peace' and 'Hope' are also helpful cards for grief journalling. The Inside Out journalling cards are also useful in workshops, particularly when encouraging participants to begin their journal.

Using Inside Out

Journalling Is A Powerful Therapeutic Tool

By Karen Masman

 

Most of us have at some point in our lives been drawn to write something that we wanted to keep in a drawer, file away, stash in a shoe box under the bed, or stick on the fridge. We might have even kept a diary for a while, particularly as teenagers or travellers.

 

We may not recognise these things as journalling but there are as many forms of journalling as there are people who like to scribble on a scrap of paper, doodle and draw, make lists, write poetry, imagine conversations, document their dreams, or even keep a written record of appointments. Some people like to record family history or important events in their children's lives or in their community. These documents and notes may become great family treasures that are windows into the past. And of course, recognising the past often sheds light on the present.

 

Many people are drawn to their notebooks and journals in times of challenge, transition and change in order to help make sense of what is happening in their lives. Journalling is also a valuable tool for goal-setting and monitoring emotional and mental well-being.

 

There is great power in simply being able to name, record and express a feeling or experience. In journalling this can be done very safely through metaphors, imagined characters and stories.

 

 

Divining with a Pen

There are as many forms of journalling as there are people who like to scribble, doodle and draw, make lists, write poetry, imagine conversations, and document their dreams or family events.

 

Our editor, Karen Masman writes in her journal to distil thoughts, to gain perspective and to connect and realign with what is important to her. 'I use my pen much as a water diviner uses a divining rod to locate underground streams or a prospector scans the surface of the ground to find the treasure that lies underneath. In this sense journalling can be described as divining with a pen!'

 

Journalling is increasingly becoming recognised as a powerful therapeutic tool that professionals can offer to clients to encourage remembering and reflection. Many people are especially drawn to their notebooks and journals in times of challenge and transition to help them make sense of what is happening in their lives. Journalling can also be a valuable tool for goal-setting and monitoring our emotional and mental wellbeing.

 

This is why Innovative Resources was keen to produce a journalling tool that can be used not only as a celebration of creative writing but also as a 'seriously optimistic' tool for change that can be used by teachers, therapists, counsellors, psychologists and other human service professionals.

 

Inside Out aims to:

 

• inspire people to use journalling in their own lives;

• explore the role of journalling in opening up creativity;

• introduce a range of journalling techniques such as sentence starters, lists, clustering, dialogue and moon writing;

• help human service workers to use journalling as a therapeutic tool in their professional conversations;

• encourage educators to use journalling with students for creative writing and emotional literacy.

 

This set of cards comes to you with the best wishes of all those who have participated in creating it. We hope it opens windows into the gentle art of journalling for you and for those with whom you work.

 

 

How Do I Journal?

However it comes to you!

 

There are no rules with journalling. Everyone can journal and everyone journals in different ways. However you journal, is YOUR way of journalling. You will probably try different techniques and ideas over time. Your style might change too, just as you change and depending on what you are writing about. We often write differently when we are angry for example, compared to when we are describing something in nature.

 

By the way, when we refer to 'journalling', we use the word in its broadest meaning. Journalling often takes the form of writing, but it can also include illustration, drawings, painting, collage, scribbles, doodling, poetry, and momentos such as photos, cards, coasters, letters, programs and tickets. Anything that is about you; anything that tells your story or has special meaning for you can find its way into your journal. Experiment and have fun.

 

Different people have different ideas about when and how often we 'should' journal. Some people recommend we journal every day at the same time and for a certain length of time. Others suggest we journal a minimum number of times a week, say at least four times. Journalling is a creative process which allows self-expression and learning. It's pretty difficult to slot such processes into little boxes of times and dates. Journalling is for you. It needs to happen when you feel ready and when you want to. The minute it becomes a chore, it loses its appeal and then we 'forget' or choose not to continue to journal.

 

A very useful way of keeping track of what you journal is to date your entries. This allows you to see changes that you have made over time; how events or your thoughts and emotions progressed over time; how you have developed in your understanding of yourself.

 

What to Use

Choosing the type of journal you will use is a private and personal matter. There are many different types of journals, books, diaries, writing/drawing pads, and paper available. There is a multitude of sizes, colors and styles: hard back/ softcover; lined/unlined; spiralbound; handmade paper; looseleaf or bound. So many choices! And this is part of the fun of journalling; finding what kinds of journalling materials will unleash your creativity, will encourage you to journal, will help you feel 'in place' when the journalling process starts.

 

Many people keep more than one journal at a time, depending on what they're journalling about. Some writers, for example, take small pocketbooks wherever they go, so they can always jot down thoughts that suddenly occur, parts of conversations that spark their interest or quotes they want to remember for further inspiration.

 

Other journallers separate their positive experiences, thoughts and feelings from their negative. It's not always that easy to clearly identify and separate these different emotions and extremes. Another way, which might be a little easier, is to choose different color pens or pencils. So, you might use red when you're journalling about anger, or blue when you're journalling about sadness or gold when journalling about discoveries. If you want to read back over your journalling for different themes or stages, it is easier to identify them when you have different colors to differentiate entries.

 

It is just as important to choose what to journal with, as it is to choose what you journal in or on! Pens come in so many colors and textures as do pencils, textas, highlighters and inks. Again, experiment with what you use and see what feels best for the type of journalling you're doing.

 

Many journallers use the keyboard. We can often think more quickly when using a keyboard and sometimes our ideas seem more creative. However, you might not feel the same connection to your ideas, emotions or processes as you do when you write by hand. You might want to try the two methods and see what you think.

 

(Perhaps Karen's story on 'Journals as Power Objects' could be included as a separate text box here. It is at the bottom of this file in blue.)

 

Who Might Use Inside Out?

 

The Inside Out cards have found uses in a remarkably diverse range of situations and settings. From individual reflexions to groupwork, the cards have been employed with positive outcomes for many different people, including, just to name a few:

 

"Intriguing" Choices

 

Stand the cards on a table so you can quickly scan the set. Choose a card that intrigues you for whatever reasons-colour, design, key word, etc.

 

Examine the card and wonder what it is that intrigues you. Spend ten minutes writing about this intrigue.

 

 

Random Choices

Choose any one card at random and examine it. Write for 10 minutes about the possible relevance or meaning this card may have for you at this time.

 

 

 

Try writing like this every day for a week or a month. And see how the writing changes.

 

Doubles

 

Choose two cards at random or because they intrigue your.

 

 

Creative Writing

Sometimes adopting a very different writing style can unleash a creative force! The booklet accompanying the Inside Out cards includes a whole range of creative writing suggestions, including listing, mind mapping, moon writing and dialogue. Experimenting with different journalling techniques can produce some surprisingly moving and beautiful writing in short swatches of time.

 

The Inside Out cards can work as prompts for all these different styles of writing, as well as for other creative writing forms like poetry, short stories, or Dear You letters.

 

 

Journalling In Groups

For some journallers writing is intensely personal and private and they would never envisage sharing their work through talking about it or by inviting others to read what they have written. This is perfectly understandable and legitimate.

 

Writing in a group can also be a profound experience-affirming, liberating, empowering and fun. Try letter-writing, microstories and poetry writing as activities for a group you are involved in. Ten minutes writing time and about the same for sharing may be sufficient for a small group or a novel activity for a staff meeting.

 

Again, the Inside Out cards might help. For example try inviting all members of the group to write for 10 minutes about the same card. Explore the multitude of interpretations, associations, stories and writing styles that are produced. Or ask group members to write a story about a particular card in one of four paradigms-comedy, drama, romance or tragedy.

 

A light-hearted alternative is sequential story telling. Start with each person writing for 2 minutes about a particular card-their story is passed to another person who writes for 2 minutes developing the story. Try this for 5 or 6 instalments and the results can be hilarious!