The Strengths Cafe | NoNo the Little Seal

NoNo the Seal

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Here is the moving story of a little seal who learns to stay safe, say 'No' and tell.

Like most children who are victims of sexual abuse, NoNo the little seal is abused by someone he knows. And like most children, he is afraid to tell anyone. But finally, he talks to Wise Whale and to his parents. He learns that he can tell grownups when there is a problem; that he can get help; that he can say, 'No!' and that, most importantly of all, he will still be loved.

The Movers and Shakers for NoNo

NoNo's Journey

NoNo the Little Seal first came to life in the United States in 1982 as part of a state-funded community outreach program for children and young people. At the time there were virtually no sexual abuse primary prevention, intervention and treatment tools for very young children. NoNo the Little Seal was developed to meet this need.

Originally written by Sherri Patterson, Judith Feldman joined Sherri in 1984 and is responsible for many of the additions, updates, and songs included in the NoNo the Little Seal storybook and CD.

In early 1985-with portfolio, demo tape, and hope in hand-Judith flew to New York to find a publisher. The outcome was the publication (by Random House) of the original version of the book. After selling approximately 50,000 copies, NoNo was taken off the market in 1988.

Sherri and Judith continued to receive requests for the book from parents, teachers, counsellors, therapists, and booksellers. In 1993, under Judith's direction, and with the help of many generous contributors, The National Self-Esteem Resources and Development Centre published NoNo and the Secret Touch as a story/colouring book and audio tape.

In 2002 Judith approached the New South Wales Department of Education and Training for assistance with a 'performance vehicle' for personal body safety messages to very young children. Considerable time and talent were offered by that organisation to 'tweak' NoNo and make it relevant to Australian children.

In January 2003 Judith contacted Innovative Resources-the publishing arm of St Luke's Anglicare-in search of an Australian publisher for the book. The result is this beautifully recrafted edition of NoNo the Little Seal with new illustrations and CD recording.

And that is the story of NoNo's journey to Australia.

We wish you and the children in your lives a meaningful experience as you explore the story of NoNo the Little Seal.

Inside Pymble Wizz Studios- recording the CD for NoNo the Little Seal

By Judith Feldman

March 30, 2004 was an unseasonably hot day in Sydney. However, the temperature inside Pymble Wizz studios was hotter, as seven actors got together to record the voiceovers for the NoNo the Little Seal CD.

The cast includes Glenn Butcher as the narrator (Glenn is well-known for his work on ABC's Play School); nine-year-old Andrew Clifford as NoNo (Andrew is a 'regular kid' and professional actor who, in addition to working in films and commercials, also appears in a child protection training video); Neil Hanson as Uncle Seal (Neil is an actor/performer and winner of both Mo and ACE awards; Judy Feldman as Wise Whale (Judy created the original Wise Whale character and is an award-winning performer/record producer and child protection consultant); Stefanie Jostons as Dana Dolphin (Stefanie is a child care professional with the perfect voice for Dana Dolphin and a talent for acting); and Clive and Anita Lendich as Dad Seal and Mum Seal respectively (Clive is a world class jazz guitarist, composer, arranger, producer, engineer and his wife, Anita, is a human resources professional and a 'natural').

On the recommendation of John Watson, musical arranger for the NoNo project, Ms Feldman approached Pymble Wizz and its owner, Clive Lendich, about joining the NoNo project. Clive generously agreed to participate in bringing this book to life for Australian children and families.

Innovative Resources delegated the production of the CD to Judith Feldman who, together with Sherri Patterson, created the overseas Random House version of the book. Judith's recording experience includes producing the Parents' Choice Gold Award winning B.E.S.T. Friends-Songs by kids.for kids.about Friendship, Cooperation, and Self-Esteem and its Spanish equivalent, Amigos.

'The cast was fabulous,' says Judith Feldman. 'They made the work experience a joy and brought the characters to life with honesty, and the level of sensitivity this subject requires.

'The greatly anticipated session began at 10am and was expected to end at 5pm but with so many 'one take wonders', it finished at 2pm !' Judith said.

Swapping Notes on NoNo

Jenny's story:

When I showed NoNo the Little Seal to Jenny she was excited to see it had a CD with it. She loves music and listening to stories. She was immediately struck by the similarity of NoNo's story to her own.

Jenny said: 'That's exactly how I felt. But when I told my mum she didn't believe me. It must have felt good for NoNo to have someone believe him.'

Jenny wanted her extended family-her aunties, brothers, etc- to read the book so that they could understand. These books bring up conversations in counselling that simply wouldn't happen without them.

Lisa Cox from the Child Protection Society

'The partnership between Innovative Resources and the Children's Protection Society is an exciting one. Four the past four weeks the counsellors at CPS have been using the NoNo the Little Seal and Rosy and Jack to produce the artwork on display around the walls. It is their way of saying thank you.'

Ray Bowler, the illustrator and designer of NoNo

I grew up on the south side of Edinburgh where staying safe meant being a fast runner. I hope in some way the work I've done on NoNo will mean that kids won't have to run.

Karen Masman, editor at Innovative Resources

Publishing is always a team sport. If you think of it like a game of soccer, then the authors and illustrators are the strikers.

It is such a conundrum to put a book together-the intricacies of design-the research that goes on behind the scenes. Like Ray Bowler 's research into the behaviour and body language of seals to create illustrations full of movement and emotion.

Carla van Laar reflects on NoNo the Little Seal and Rosy and Jack

'I recently went on a retreat as part of the Child Sexual Assault Protection Program. Some of the kids were victims of sexual abuse while others were at high risk.

The girls who had suffered abuse were really affirmed by the books and the positive messages of self-esteem and staying safe. They wanted to thank the authors for writing the books.

One of the girls talked about the victimisation she'd experienced at school when the story of her abuse got out. It's just tragic that a young girl should have to suffer such treatment on top of all her existing suffering. To be able to use the books to reinforce her self-esteem was fantastic.'

Sherri Patterson, the author of NoNo

Sherri Patterson is a child and adolescent counsellor with over twenty years' experience, including nearly ten years as a specialist in the field of child abuse prevention. She is a licensed marriage, family and child counsellor in San Rafael, California. In her off hours she can be found hiking in the golden hills of California, reading a good book (especially books about travelling to Australia ) ... or catching a good snooze.

Judith Feldman, author (and song writer!) for NoNo

A graduate of New York 's High School of Performing Arts, Judith Feldman is a child protection consultant and cabaret performer with more than 20 years' experience providing direct service and 'holistic' training in child protection. Judith holds a BA in sociology, a graduate diploma in counselling and currently lives in Sydney. Her great passion (aside from people and her cat) is combining her child protection work with the performing arts.

NoNo and Beyond: An interview with author, Judith Feldman

John Holton: NoNo the Little Seal's journey from its original Random House publication in the 1980's to Innovative Resources' new millennium, Australian edition has been a long, and obviously important, one for you. How did it feel when the new edition came off the press?

Judith Feldman: It felt like a dream come true! I know that sounds corny, but after Russell Deal (Director of Innovative Resources) had shown me The Wrong Stone, there was no doubt in my mind that Innovative Resources (IR) was the most appropriate publisher to bring NoNo to children and families in Australia and beyond. I fell in love with Ray Bowler's illustrations.

I never knew that a publishing company like IR existed-that is, a collective group of incredibly talented people who produced world class resources as part of a not-for-profit organisation. It was Libby Silva, from Sydney 's Feminist Bookshop who, after hearing the old NoNo tape said, 'You must contact IR; they would be the best publishers for NoNo. Thank you, Libby!

JH: What is your wish for this book and the people who read or listen to it?

JF: First, to reach as many children and families as possible. Very young children (3-5 years old) are extremely vulnerable to sexual abuse and presently, except for NoNo there are few resources, if any, that are as gentle, reassuring, non-threatening, family-friendly, and accessible as NoNo the Little Seal. And secondly, to empower the grown-ups who use this resource to teach, and the children who read and/or hear it to learn. As Wise Whale says, it's OK to stand up for yourself, to stay safe, say no, and tell.

JH: You obviously have a passion for working with young children, especially when it comes to child protection. Where do you think this has come from?

JF: I'm not sure where it comes from, except to say that my own childhood experiences, while not the same as NoNo's, inform my work. For whatever reason, my hope has been to help eliminate the normalisation of emotional abuse. We live in a society in which name-calling, put downs, and humiliating others is so endemic it's hardly noticed. It has always been important to me to ensure that 'others notice' and find strategies to help mitigate the negative impact this so-called 'harmless banter' can have, particularly on children.

JH: Working in this field must bring with it some very traumatic and sad situations. What keeps you optimistic and positive about the future?

JF: I guess I always look for the pony when I smell the manure! Don't know why; maybe that's why 'seriously optimistic' resources really resonated with me and why I am so pleased to be associated with IR.

JH: What, or who, inspires you?

JF: The triumph of the human spirit inspires me. And knowing that people can and do change for the better. Not always-maybe not that often-but it can and does happen.

Carol Payne, 'Big screen to stage,' North Shore Times , Friday 19 th November, 2004 , p. 42.

"One of the highlights in Judy Feldman's life was the night she danced to Latin music while entertaining a vast Washington crowd at one of President Nixon's Inaugural balls.

In the world premiere of Dirty Dancing: the Classic Story on Stage, which opened at the Theatre Royal yesterday (November 18), this Hunters Hill resident again performs to her favourite Latin American beat. Based on the film Dirty Dancing, Judith will play the part of Mrs Schumacher-but she cannot say anything about her character because she does not want to spoil a surprise at the end of the show.

"All I can say is that Mrs Schumacher loves Latin music and the show is enormously entertaining and uplifting," she said. "It's a remarkable story, set at Kellerman's Hotel in the Catskill Mountains, about 100 miles from New York City.

"It's summer 1963 and 17-year-old Francis "Baby" Houseman (Kym Valentine from Neighbours ), is on vacation with her parents when she meets the hotel's sexy dance instructor, Johnny Castle (Sydney Dance Company's Joseph Brown).

"It's a beautiful love story set to evocative dance and music in a time of great social and political upheaval."

Judy came to Australia from the USA seven years ago to work as a child protection consultant-a career she had developed during a period when she had lost her voice. When she regained her voice here she resumed her career on stage, but remains committed to helping families and children.

In collaboration with Sherri Patterson, she has written a book, No No the Little Seal, which is a sexual abuse prevention tool for very young children. In it No No the seal learns how to stay safe by saying "No." it comes with a CD and a guide for parents and grandparents and is available [from St Luke's Innovative Resources] or on-line.

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Using NoNo as a Learning Tool

Welcome to NoNo the Little Seal. We appreciate your willingness to teach the children in your life basic personal body safety skills. We have found that this gentle, reassuring story works well with very young children and is also a valuable tool for older children and adults. The songs are well integrated into the story and listeners often sing along with NoNo and Wise Whale.

For professionals using this resource we strongly recommend a form of consultation and approval from parents and/or primary carers before introducing NoNo into your professional setting.

Although this book deals with sexual abuse, parents may find that it also provides a unique opportunity to build trust and honest communication within families.

We would like to offer all readers some suggestions on how they might use this resource to achieve optimal results. The following questions and suggested responses describe key points you may wish to emphasise when reading and listening to the story of NoNo the Little Seal:

Question: In the story Uncle Seal touches NoNo in 'funny places.in private places.where NoNo did not want to be touched.' What do you think NoNo should say and/or do when Uncle Seal touches him in funny places?

Suggested response: Tell! Telling someone is most important; also saying 'no' and getting away, if possible.

Question: Why is it hard for NoNo to tell?

Suggested response: Because it is a secret and NoNo is afraid that his parents might be mad at him.

Question: Do you think it's OK to keep some secrets? Which secrets might be OK to keep?

Suggested response: Yes, it's OK to keep some secrets; for example, a happy secret makes you feel good when you keep it and makes people feel good when the time comes to tell it.

Question: What about sad secrets that make you feel bad?

Suggested response: It's important to tell sad secrets no matter what a big kid or grown-up tells you. You'll feel better if you tell. The best thing to do is to tell a sad secret that makes you feel bad as soon as you can.

Question: Who could NoNo tell? Who could YOU tell?

Suggested response: NoNo could tell his parents, Wise Whale or other family members. It was helpful to tell his friend, Dana Dolphin, but it's always important to tell a grown-up. You could tell any grown-up that you trust, such as people in your family, teachers and any other grown-up you like and know well.

Activity: Help children draw their 'Helping Circle' of people they could tell (at least 5).

Question: What if you told a grown-up and they didn't do anything to help you? What could you do?

Suggested response : Keep telling until someone really listens to you and helps you.

Question: Was what happened NoNo's fault? Was it his fault that he waited to tell?

Suggested response: Absolutely not! It was not his fault; it was Uncle Seal's fault. Uncle Seal touched him in places that he should not and told him to keep it a secret. NoNo was very brave and he worked very hard to solve his problem.

Question: What if a friend told you this had happened to them, and made you promise not to tell. Should you tell? Why or why not?

Suggested response: It's always important to tell. Your friend needs help; that's probably why they are telling you. Ask a grown-up you trust to help you with this problem.

A child's feeling of safety in the world seems to determine whether or not they will turn to grown-ups for help. The guidelines listed below may help children feel a bit safer in the world they share with grown-ups:

Give children sincere, positive acknowledgement if they admit a mistake or a lie. For example, 'I am very pleased that you told me you took that toy, and I am proud of you because you told me the truth.' Deal with the issues of 'consequences' and/or 'punishment' for the behaviour as an additional, but separate, concern.

Tell children explicitly that you want them to tell you about secrets if they make them feel badly. Let children know that you will be glad they told you; no matter what it is.

Believe children if they talk about being sexually abused. Sexual abuse often provokes intense feelings of shame in children and they do not tend to want to lie about it. Children who are not believed will be inclined to shut down.

Encourage children to trust their intuition. This may help you prevent not only sexual abuse but also poor judgement with friends, and perhaps even drug use, later on. Help children identify when something is giving them the 'uh-oh' (butterflies) feeling and trust your own intuition when YOU are getting that feeling.

Help children understand the exceptions related to touching 'private parts'. For example, situations involving health and cleanliness-changing a baby's nappy, bathing a baby, medical visits, applying ointment, using a thermometer.

Let children know directly that if they are ever touched or looked at in a way that doesn't feel right, they can tell you about it. Let them know that it would never be their fault and that they would never get into trouble-even if the other person said they might or even if they had been tricked into taking ice-cream, lollies or money. Let children know that you would do everything you could to help them. This reassurance usually goes a long way toward protecting children from abuse.

If you would like further support in tackling these issues, we encourage you to seek help from counsellors, or local resources. For further information on this subject and/or children's 'normal' sex play, please do not hesitate to contact the Family and Children's Support Service nearest you.

Finally, may your experience with NoNo the Little Seal bring you and the children in your life a safe and 'seriously optimistic' journey.

With best wishes and thanks,

Judith Feldman and Sherri Patterson

NoNo the Little Seal (Book Review). Carole Jean. Family Matters 69 (Spring-Summer 2005): p100(1).

NoNo the Little Seal, by Sherri Patterson and Judith Feldman, Illustrated by Ray Bowler, St Luke's Innovative Resources, Bendigo, 2004. Price: $39.60.

Subtitled “The gentle story of a little seal who learns to stay safe, say ‘No’, and tell”, this picture book and CD-ROM is for young children. Using the story of the seal, the book teaches children about sexual abuse, personal body safety skills, and how to say “No”. The accompanying CD-ROM uses animation to dramatise the story. Attractively presented and illustrated, the kit also contains notes for teachers, therapists or parents.

Carole Jean is the Reference Librarian at the Australian Institute of Family Studies.

‘Life Matters,’ 28 March 2005, ABC Radio National.

Program Description: “The start of a short series looking at resource books for children on some of life’s most difficult issues, such as grief and domestic violence. The first program looked at how to teach young children to be wary without being permanently suspicious. Cites No No the Little Seal (Judith Feldman & Sherri Patterson, St Luke’s Innovative Resource) and Rosy and Jack (Nicole Reading, St Luke’s Innovative Resources).

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